Bisexual at Home, Lesbian Overseas

Published Date Author: , August 5th, 2016

bisexual erasure

As my plane touched down in Budapest and taxied into the gate, I stood up to stretch my legs and opened Tinder on my iPhone. My eyes were burning from lack of sleep and Kindle fatigue. I had bags to wrangle. But this was important. I opened the settings and changed my search criteria from “women and men” to just “women.”

As I waited for my overstuffed backpack to shoot out of the luggage turnstile, I hopped on the spotty WiFi to assess my options. I swiped right on a Raquel Welch look-alike and on a resident physician whose mischievous grin intrigued me.

At home in California’s Bay Area, I date women and men. However, when I travel overseas, I stick to women. I love men, but they can be a liability — one I’m not willing to risk when I’m on my own in a foreign place where I don’t know the subtle cultural cues, where I can’t call my best friend to come pick me up if things go awry.

I know men who are incredibly trustworthy, with whom I feel safe and that my boundaries are respected. But unfortunately, there a lot of men who don’t have that same reverence for a woman’s “no.” This can happen with female partners, too. But with men, I have had my boundaries crossed or feared violence on many more occasions.

By Breena Kerr – Full Story at The Washington Post

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